Halloween

3 stars

Rarely do I see a movie that can be summed up with one word, but this one can. Brutal. Rob Zombie’s take on John Carpenter’s 1978 horror classic Halloween is nothing short of brutal, but is all the better as such.

Zombie takes a different approach than Carpenter did, though. He explores what made Michael Myers become the Michael Myers we know and love today by delving into his childhood. Obviously coming from a troubled and broken home, young Michael (Daeg Faerch) exhibits all the earmarks of a future sociopath. From the cruelty towards animals, violent outbursts to peers and the deeply anti-social behaviour, it’s everything a growing boy needs to become one of the more vicious and prolific killers in cinematic history. After brutally murdering his mom’s boyfriend, his half sister and her boyfriend, having saved only baby Boo, Michael is remanded to Smith’s Grove Mental Institution under the care of famed child psychologist Dr. Sam Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). Seventeen years later, Myers escapes and goes on a bloody rampage to find his long lost baby sister, now going by the name Laurie Strode (Scout-Taylor Compton). And that’s where Zombie’s flick starts to mirror Carpenter’s.

I will actually get into the debate of for or against remakes at a later date, but a film review is not the appropriate forum. All I can say, is the first half of the movie is what I expected from Zombie, the second half, I expected more.

Remakes are good when the new filmmaker improves on the existing story, and he did that with the first half of his film. Never before had we been privy to the gory details of Myers’ past. We kind of knew, but only in flashbacks and references, which don’t really do the story justice. For a somewhat horror geek like myself, I was excited to see the backstory. It opened up new dimensions to the character of Michael.

But the back half was the carbon copy of Carpenter’s film. It was clearly updated, as Zombie did more, nudity and violence-wise, than Carpenter could have hoped to have done 30 years ago, and it was in Zombie’s somewhat distinct personal style. But I couldn’t help but think that if I had walked out of the theatre once Michael escaped, if I would actually miss any of the story. I don’t think I did.

I really want to sing the praises of Faerch. This young kid came in and gave a horror icon the third dimension he had so distinctly been lacking till now. For a 10 year old, that’s just amazing craftsmanship. I want to see more of this kid’s work.

Keep an eye out for interesting cameos popping up throughout the film. Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, plays Myers stripper mom. Horror legend Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) plays a trucker who suffers the wrath of Michael. Celebrated character actors Danny Trejo and Clint Howard put in some good work on the film. But perhaps the biggest coup for horror fans in general, Halloween fans specifically, was the casting of Danielle Harris in the second female lead. For those of you unfamiliar with the franchise, Harris played Jamie Lloyd in Halloweens 4 and 5.

When all is said and done, you should only go see this if you’re really, really into horror films. It’s effective in the scares, but if you’re a purist, rent or buy the original instead.

I don’t recommend this for the faint of heart. Lots and lots of blood. But then again I’m a sick, twisted bastard, so the gory violence of modern horror flicks entertains me.

Ok… seriously, I promise to get on track with doing this daily. Really I do. And adhering to the schedule I set for myself. It’s just a matter of doing so. I just have to get in the rhythm. But here’s the review for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. A contemplation on The Simpsons will come later today.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

2 stars

It’s hard to play a blame game as to why the fifth installment of the usually entertaining Harry Potter franchise has failed to live up to the standards set by the previous four films. The only thing that’s really changed is the director. I guess it’s not that hard to play the blame game after all.

Let me preface this in the same way I prefaced the review for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: I have not read the books. I read the first one, didn’t care for it, haven’t picked one up since. So my plot outline is based on the presentation in the film alone, not all the side plots from the book that didn’t make the final cut. This is a film review, so I am reviewing the film. OK, here we go.

Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) has incurred the wrath of the Ministry of Magic after performing a magic spell in front of regular people, though in his defense, it was to ward of demons sent to kill him. Then he finds out about the Order of the Phoenix, a secret society formed to defend the world upon Voldemort’s return, members include Harry’s parents, Sirius Black, Snape, Dumbledore, the Weasleys, Lupin, Mad-Eye Moody, etc.. Then Harry meets before the Ministry to decide his fate at Hogwarts Academy. They let him stay, but prudish member of the Ministry Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) decides she’s going to become a teacher there, to keep an eye on things at Hogwarts.

To explain everything as well as they did in the movie would be a practice in futility. It’s one convoluted mess. It’s like trying to listen to a goofy 50 year old Mid-Westerner try to tell a joke. “Oh wait, I forgot about this part, let me back up.”

The thing of the movies, and this goes for all cinematic adaptations of books, especially popular books, is that they are supposed to make people who have yet to read the books, care about the story, about the characters, as much as those who have read and loved the books do. Like I said, I haven’t read the books. Not my cup of tea. But the first four flicks made me care. I liked the story. For the 2 hours or so that I was in the theatre, or watching it on DVD in my living room, I was pulled in, I was engrossed by the story. It was an enjoyable experience for me.

I didn’t get that feeling from this one. And it’s David Yates’ fault. Or Michael Goldenberg’s. Goldenberg’s the screenwriter. Steven Kloves has done a fantastic job translating the previous four novels to the screen. And thank the god I don’t believe in he’s coming back for part six. Because Goldenberg’s script was just a muddled mess. Unfortunately we’re not spared Yates for the sixth installment.

I think everyone did their parts to the best of their abilities. They did the best with what they were given, and it wasn’t much. There were no stand-out performances. But to the credit of the entire cast and crew, they aren’t showing the signs of fatigue one would expect after six years and five movies. They go out and deliver with everything they’ve got, which is the mark of true dedication to the craft.

It was a convoluted mess of a movie that needs better writing, but above all else, a better director. Yates just wasn’t the right man for the job. I think if the producers want to go out with a bang on the seventh flick (and I’m sure they do), go with Guillermo del Toro or Alfonso Cauron. Not Tim Burton.

Give me a break on this one, I’m coming off a 2 and a half month hiatus from writing these things, so I’m a tad rusty. But it’s finally up, 3 days late. Enjoy, fans!

Transformers

3 Stars

My job as a film critic is to essentially determine one thing: Was it a good movie? And for Michael Bay’s new action epic, Transformers, the answer is yes. But could it compete on the same level of quality film making as March’s Zodiac? Absolutely not. But it’s a different kind of filmmaking.

Shia LaBeouf (Disturbia) stars in this big screen, live action adaptation of the 80’s cartoon series, which in turn was based on a toy line of robots that turned into cars. LaBeouf plays Sam Witwicky, a high school loser who buys a junker of a car, which turns out to be Autobot Bumblebee, part of an alien race of robots from the planet Cybertron. The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime have come to earth in search of the Allspark, and keep it out of the hands of Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. Soon Earth gets thrust into the middle of an epic, centuries old battle between the Autobots and Decepticons.

Now, you can imagine the overall tone of the flick isn’t all that serious. You probably felt a little silly reading that, I know I felt silly writing it. But it’s this kind of film where Michael Bay (Armageddon, The Rock) tends to excel. The audacious, outlandish, cartoonish action flicks that dominate the summer blockbuster. I had no real great expectations for this movie. I knew it was going to be corny going in, but just amazing on the special effects and action sequences. And it was corny. But thoroughly entertaining.

I will say this about action movies today, they lack the linguistic spark that was predominant in the 80’s and early 90’s. While the plot-lines may have been low brow, the one-liners and wisecracks are the ones we still talk about today. And that’s where the script fails miserably for Transformers. The dialog is overtly and overly cheesy. It degrades to soap opera level cheese. During the climax, the love interest Mikaela (Megan Fox) says to Sam, “I’m glad I got in that car with you.” Yes, it refers to a set of lines earlier in the film, but even with a frame of reference, it’s just horrendously bad.

But bad actors delivering even worse lines is what these summer event movies are all about, right? I could do the round-up of the stars of the film: Vegas’s Josh Duhamal, a decent enough TV actor still trying to follow in the footsteps of George Clooney and failing miserably at it. John Voight, who is familiarly mediocre. Tyrese, a former model turned actor, need I say more. Fox, whom you’ve never heard of and will never hear from again, at least not outside the pages of Maxim. The only ones really worth watching are the bit parts, particularly John Turturro as a shady government agent, or the voice over actors with Brian Cox and Hugo Weaving both lending their voices to the robots in disguise, and the under-utilized star, Shia LaBeouf.

A bit of career advice for LaBeouf: You’ve actually got some talent. Pick scripts that showcase that talent. Yes, any child of the 80’s would jump at the chance to be in the Transformers movie. I know I would. But you’ll never get your due if you don’t earn it.

But acting and script aside, it was a great movie. It’s an odd thing to say, really, when you think about it. Considering 90% of what is judged about a movie is the acting and the script. But, it did deliver the enjoyment, the excitement, and the escapism I look for in epic, bombastic flicks. I didn’t go in expecting Citizen Kane, and I didn’t get that. That’s coming out ahead in my book.