I've been a podcaster and radio DJ for over 15 years, and an appreciator of my favourite things for my entire life. That includes film, music, food and of course... a nice glass of rum.
Since 2007, I’ve always made time to sit down and watch Burn Notice. Wherever I was living, whatever the situation, Burn Notice was a must watch for me. It’s without a doubt one of my favourite shows on TV, but I’ll never call it one of the best shows on television.
It’s not the multi-layered character study that Mad Men is (the show that I do call the best show on television). It’s not the hard-hitting, complex morality tale that Breaking Bad is. It doesn’t have the glorious and expansive mythos of Game of Thrones or Doctor Who, the absurdity of Community or Psych. It is what USA excels at (besides NCIS marathons): procedural. The show follows a simple formula episode to episode, and does it very, very well.
When the show first started, my roommate commented “This is basically The A-Team: The Next Generation.” A team of highly skilled mercenary outcasts putting their skills to good use helping the wronged and the less fortunate of Miami. Yeah, the A-Team.
But what drew me in, and kept me around for these past 7 seasons was that it never lost sight of the overall narrative arc of the show, the one thread that tied everything together, and that was “Who burned Michael, and why?” And each season they upped the ante. Every time he got close to the answer, he got close to the truth, the stakes were raised, the danger was heightened, the conspiracy went deeper. To me, nothing ever felt like a cop-out, or as a too big suspension of disbelief.
And ultimately, it was just a big, fun show that never felt like an insult or guilty pleasure. No “I know this is bad, but I can’t stop watching.” They constructed a narrative that worked and kept me watching, and made it enjoyable to watch. It was pure entertainment. Escapism at it’s finest.
It certainly won’t go down as one of the best shows ever to grace the small screen. But it will always be one of my favourites. With the 7th and final season premiering tonight, I just want to thank Burn Notice for being a constant source of entertainment the past 7 years, and you’ll leave a hole that won’t soon be filled.
Starring Jonathan Sadowski, Nathan Phillips and Devin Kelly
I have a love/hate relationship with the works of Oren Peli. I loved Paranormal Activity (as long as I watch the original ending, not the theatrical one), but hated the sequels. I loved Insidious. The River (his show on ABC) was oddly fascinating, but it really struggled to find its footing (I hope Netflix picks it up for more episodes, or he finds funding for follow-up films). Chernobyl Diaries is the first venture of the Peli brand that I’m overall “Meh” on.
Bradley Parker is marks his directorial debut with this film, after a long career as a visual effects artist/supervisor on Fight Club, The Time Machine and Let Me In, among others. He shows some serious promise in the horror genre, and for modern mainstream horror, Oren Peli’s a solid mentor to have. But Chernobyl just takes far too long to get going. We cross the halfway mark of the film before anything remotely scary (other than the car breaking down) even happens, as it relates to the overall plot. There are a few startles sprinkled here and there, but they’re unrelated to the thrust of the film.
This is one instance where it would have been better to show things on camera. I know that, for the most part, what you don’t see is sometimes scarier than what you do see. But Parker took it to the extreme, and you see almost nothing, mostly reaction shots. You don’t even know what the Big-Bad is till almost the end of the third act, but it’s all in glimpses, and I’m still trying to figure out the precise nature of them.
The film is buoyed by a strong, yet mostly unrecognizable cast. I got a little horror-nerd excited when Nathan Phillips showed up. Phillips was in the amazing 05′ Aussie horror flick Wolf Creek (one of the best of the ’00s).
The big plus however is that it’s NOT found footage, a sub-genre that is starting to wear out it’s welcome.
Worth a rent, or a matinée if you really want to see it on the big screen.
Men In Black 3
Men In Black III
3.5 Stars
Starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Jemaine Clement and Emma Thompson
I’m a sucker for many different kinds of movies. The two that pertain to this review are Will Smith movies and time travel. I’ve been a Will Smith fan since his Fresh Prince days (music career, not TV Show, that’s how far back it goes). Loved the first Men In Black, was OK on the 2nd, and this one was a suitable installment, and greatly enjoyable.
There was always something about K (Jones) that they never really fully explored throughout the first two, that they really cemented with this one. Diving into the character’s back story in a fun, lighthearted way, yet keeping the depth of the character was something I didn’t know if they could properly pull off, but to Sonnenfeld’s credit, he did. And the film is just as fun as the first one.
One of my favourite things to do with the first two was keep an eye and ear out for the throwaway pop culture references regarding who’s an alien, and there’s plenty in both the modern setting and back in 1969. Keep an eye on the background monitors at MIB headquarters, and pay close attention to K’s story about his time in the UK, and his exchange with Bill Hader’s Andy Warhol (one of the best scenes in the movie).
The biggest hinderances are the flow and the necessity. It’s a choppy, uneven film that has great scenes followed by filler followed by not so great scenes. And it fails to answer the biggest question: Why, after 10 years, was this film necessary? It’s fun escapism cinema, sure, but why retread a long dormant franchise?
Fans of the original will not be disappointed, but if you were only lukewarm on them, you could probably wait for the rental.
Battleship
Battleship
2 stars
Starring Taylor Kitsch, Liam Neeson, Brooklyn Decker and Tadanobu Asano
I never had any hint of a notion that this would be a good movie. Not once. But I would have liked for a character, any character (but preferably Liam Neeson with his growl) to say “You sunk my battleship.” But NOOOOOOOOOOO they were too busy making a movie that’s only slightly better than either of the Transformers sequels.
With two very high-profile flops within months of each other, can the studios stop forcing Taylor Kitsch on us? He’s got Savages coming out in July with Oliver Stone, and that could be where his calling is. Smaller dramas with directors of a signature style. But headlining blockbusters is clearly not his calling. He’s Sam Worthington all over again. Kitsch can act. You could see it on Friday Night Lights, you can see it in this… but he’s just not quite there. He can’t push himself over the edge into consistent, quality work.
Maybe someone else who saw the film picked up on something that maybe I missed, but as I saw it, we were the aggressors in the film. The aliens came to our planet, sure, but we met them with battleships and destroyers. They reacted to perceived hostilities, and acted accordingly. Again, as I saw it, I didn’t notice any hostile intentions instigated by the aliens. We were the aggressors.
It’s that kind of muddled plot ambiguity, along with a ridiculous script that’s on par with the worst of Michael Bay. But the action is solid, and the thin plot that strings the events together is less insulting than anything in the Transformers films.
This will make its way to basic cable in a few years, and if you find yourself with nothing to do one lazy Saturday afternoon (and you still have cable), then you could find worse things to watch. It’s not a complete waste of 2 hours of your time.
Starring Johnny Depp, Eva Green, Michelle Pfieffer, Helena Bonham Carter and Jackie Earle Haley
I’m not too keen on Tim Burton. He thinks he holds an imaginary copyright on goth, and does any and everything imaginable to beat the same dead horse over and over again. His last good film was Big Fish, his last good film with Johnny Depp was Sleepy Hollow, 13 years (and 4 partnerships) ago. So that’s why I was pleasantly surprised when this one turned out to be quite enjoyable.
I obviously, being 26, wasn’t around when Dark Shadows originally aired, but way back in the early days of SyFy, when it was still Sci-Fi, they rebroadcast it. And being a weird child who was really into vampires, I watched it. Loved it. I was excited by the prospect of the film, featuring a great cast… but ugh… Tim Burton.
But it was a surprisingly fun movie. It has the all the kitsch of the series, and Burton’s Beetlejuice, but no wink and nod. There’s no joke to be in on, no irony to be had. They all play it straight, and make it work. Depp hasn’t done a memorable character since Cpt. Jack Sparrow (well… Rango‘s really good, but we’ll keep this strictly live action). This comes close to his standard of character development, but it’s just not fully there. I was delighted by Pfieffer. I can’t even remember the last film I saw her in… probably when I watched Batman Returns on DVD a few years ago. She was just fantastic.
High marks go to Eva Green as the villainous witch, Angelique, who cursed Depp’s Barnabas Collins to be a vampire and set the whole thing in motion. She’s so beautiful and sinister… femme fatale defined. She was fantastic. And of course the great Chloe Grace Moretz, one of the most dynamic young performers working today.
What ultimately kept the film together was the solid script from Seth Grahame-Smith, marking his feature film debut as a writer. His sense of story is brilliant. He doesn’t dwell too much on back story or drag it out. This should come as no shock, considering he wrote the novels “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” (and he wrote the screenplay for the movie coming out in June) and “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.” His work on this has me excited for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
The downfall of the movie is ultimately Tim Burton. His schtick has gone stale, and, stylistically, this is no different from Edward Scissorhands. Burton somehow turns a film with great performances and a fun script into something bland and generic. I’m beginning to wonder if he’s just crossed over into the realm of sad, self-parody.
It’s a surprisingly enjoyable film, and if you like Burton retreading his old worn out style, then you’ll love this film. I’d just like it if he would make another film like Big Fish… as in step out of the comfort zone and actually try.
As you can probably tell from the title, I’m a fan of alliteration.
The Avengers had the single biggest weekend ever, by $40 million dollars. It broke the record by a margin of what, for most other films, would be considered a solid opening weekend. And it’s an amazing film (you can read the review here), which if you haven’t seen, do so. Right now.
Anyway, Netflix is streaming several of the animated Avengers movies, that I also recommend you check out.
The Ultimate Avengers 1 & 2
These two films are a whole lot of, and are a solid throwback to the terrific run Marvel had in the 90s with their animated shows. Any kid like myself who grew up on those shows will certainly love these two features, and will love showing them to their own kids (and if my Facebook feed is any indication, everyone my age has a kid). You can watch Ultimate Avengers 1 here, and you can watch Ultimate Avengers 2 here.
The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes
There was a pretty good show that had a run of about 30 episodes back in 2010 that was based on the original Stan Lee/Jack Kirby Avengers called Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. All hell breaks loose when the worst villains they’ve ever faced (Loki, Red Skull, etc.) break loose from captivity and the Avengers assemble to bring them down. Definitely worth checking out, or putting on in the background to keep the kids distracted. You can watch the show on Netflix here.
Starring Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Samuel L. Jackson & Tom Hiddleston
There were high expectations going into this one. It’s the culmination of 5 films over 4 years with 2 Hulks. At the same time, there was the danger of ego overflow, which could mean too much going on in a cast that features 4 Oscar nominees (and a winner in Gwyneth Paltrow). But everything comes together to make the journey we’ve gone on as an audience come to a more than pleasing climax (a dubious distinction, as we’ll see more of Earth’s mightiest heroes, both on their own and in more Avengers films).
I really admired the spectacle of the films. As terrible as Michael Bay’s films are (specifically the Transformers series), you can’t argue that they are visually stunning, with great action sequences and stunning CGI. He just sucks at plot and dialogue. Enter Joss Whedon. Whedon’s amazing at plot & dialogue, and given the right crew, can do spectacle very well. Producer Kevin Feige even stated that they based the action on Transformers (which, again, while being a terrible film, is visually amazing).
Whedon really captures the dysfunction of these individual characters, and the dysfunction of putting them together on one team, but is able to turn it into less of a “buddy cop” movie and more of a “family growth/coming-of-age” type film. It’s almost The Breakfast Club with super powers.
My eyes were on Mark Ruffalo as the Bruce Banner/Hulk. Well… when Scarlett Johansson was onscreen my eyes were on her… But I was really impressed with Ruffalo’s Banner. He really captured the inner turmoil and conflict of the character, but when he Hulked out ahead of the big fight, I almost let out an audible “Fuck yeah!” He mo-capped his work as the Hulk, rather than making it 100% CGI (think Andy Serkis as Gollum), and the jocularity of Hulk shone through throughout the fight. He wasn’t played as an irrational monster, but as another character. Joss and Mark really stepped up the representation of the Hulk.
Those little jokes from the Hulk were part of the broader interplay between the heroes. It’s something you get when you combine a supremely talented cast, a fantastic script (from both Whedon and Zack Penn), and storied characters with a rich history. The way Stark and Banner connected through science, the tension between Rogers and Stark and Thor… all because these top-notch actors brought them to life.
It may not have the gritty realism of Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, but The Avengers is one of the most enjoyable, most fun films you could experience on the big screen. If you even kind of liked any of the previous Avenger films, go see The Avengers, you will not be disappointed.
Today’s ‘Stuff That’s Streaming’ is all about first films. There are two directors whose work I’ve loved for the past decade, and have done some truly incredible films, the first of which is Darren Aronofsky. My introduction to him was Requiem For A Dream, as I’m sure it was for many of my generation. I caught that my freshman year of college and was enamored with the intensity of the film. He created this brutal experience that the viewer is with every step of the way. It’s one of the few that I count among my all time favourites, yet have very little desire to ever watch again (though it has been quite a few years, so I may refresh myself). Since then, he’s put out consistently quality flicks, even The Fountain, which I really liked, even if it was a bit muddled, but it was his next two that really got the glory. Both The Wrestler and Black Swan are similar to Requiem, in that they are brutal experiences for the film, but underneath is a fascinating story being told.
I came to his first film, Pi, during my first membership to Netflix, back when it was just DVDs in the mail. You definitely see the seed from whence his style came. He really dives into the paranoia of mathematician Max Cohen, which you would later see with Sara Goldfarb in Requiem (a role for which Ellen Burstyn garnered an Oscar nomination) and Nina Sayers in Black Swan (which Natalie Portman won the Oscar for). It’s fun to go back to his first work to see where it all came from. It’s the string that ties Requiem, Wrestler and Black Swan all together, and you can see how they could all be made by the same person. All of his features are worth at least one viewing in your lifetime, and I can’t wait for 2014’s Noah, his take on the Noah’s Ark myth currently set to star Russel Crowe. But see where it all came from… definitely see Pi.
The other director is the great Christopher Nolan. Nolan of course is now the well-known director of Inception, the current Batman trilogy which wraps up in July with The Dark Knight Rises, The Prestige, and his breakout film, Memento. He’s achieved the nigh impossible: critical and commercial success, essentially being a one-man, live-action version of Pixar. His partnership with Warner Brothers on the Batman franchise has given the opportunity to make the films he’s wanted (when he’s not doing Batman, though he has quite a bit of creative freedom) in The Prestige and Inception, and bring them to a large audience. He’s such an engaging story-teller because the beginning, middle and end aren’t his style. All of that is there, he just leads you through it in a brilliantly amazing way, and there’s always a big AHA! moment at the end for the viewer, without the feeling of being lied to or tricked that other directors (looking at you, Shyamalan) haven’t mastered.
And it all started with 1998’s Following. The way Nolan’s films unfold all go back to his non-linear, made for $6,000 on weekends over the course of a year, debut. The way he draws the protagonist from the comforts of unfulfilled potential into the slightly dangerous world of B&E and burglary. But even if you’ve only seen just one Nolan film, not even one of the Batmans, you’ll know that it’s just not that simple. I love the way his films crescendo and hit you with that “HOLY SHIT!” moment. He’s one of the more exciting directors, and I can’t wait to see what he has in store post-Dark Knight.
NOTE:This turned out to be a much more personal and emotional experience for me than I had anticipated. I cried several times, and called my parents after the movie was done. I was a victim of bullying in school, so it really hit home for me. There is considerable bias in this review toward that. This is something I acknowledge, and apologize in advance for. I strive for objectivity in my reviews (aside from being a fan of a specific filmmaker/writer/performer’s work), but this one isn’t 100% objective. There are going to be personal asides sprinkled throughout, I’ll italicize so you can ignore, if you want. Just so you know, going in.
I’ve been following this documentary since an early trailer was released over a year ago, and regularly checking in to see how development and distribution was coming along, hoping I’d have the opportunity to see this in theatres. Then it became this big story over the past few months, with the MPAA holding it hostage by way of an R rating (I don’t disagree with the rating system, I disagree with the methodology), Weinstein Company choosing to release it unrated, then it finally getting the PG-13 without significant cuts. I’m glad it was able to get a wide release, and is able to reach a larger audience. I was most pleased that when I was sitting in the theatre with my aspiring documentarian cousin, I looked around and saw families settling in to see the film. Parents had brought their teen and pre-teen kids to see this film, which is what I think everybody involved (except the MPAA) wanted. And hopefully that leads to the families having conversations about bullying.
Bully focuses on several teens throughout the nation who have endured or are enduring bullying in school. The first family they spoke with, the Longs in Georgia, had lost their 17-year-old son Tyler to suicide. He had been bullied to the point that he felt that was the only option, as did 11-year-old Ty Smalley in Oklahoma. This hit a nerve, as that was a place I had been, also at 11 years old. That’s a very dark, confusing place to be at 11. They also spoke with families in Iowa, Oklahoma and Mississippi, and the children themselves are people anyone who was victimized will identify with on some level.
The main kid, Alex in Iowa, is a bullied kid who, from my perspective, is unsure of his support structure. He has loving parents who are behind him 100%. But he hides the extent of the bullying from them, internalizing a lot of it because he doesn’t feel he can talk about it. This was my mindset at that time in my life, as well. My parents didn’t know really know the full extent of it until just a few years ago. I really do feel for the kid because his story really shows the arrogant ignorance school officials have towards the issue of bullying. If they don’t see it, it clearly doesn’t happen, and when a victim is adverse to the bully’s faux-pology, the problem is with the victim.
Another story that echoes the “It Gets Better” campaign is of out lesbian Kelby from Oklahoma, which is a story that folds the teachers and townspeople into the list of bullies. Kelby’s story is another one that hits close to home because, as an atheist, this happens in our community a lot, see Damon Fowler and Jessica Ahlquist. These are people in authority the kids trust, who bully them for being who they are.
Finally there’s Ja’Maya, a 14-year-old girl from Mississippi who hit that wall… not the suicide wall, the “Bring a gun in retaliation” wall. She was being harassed on the bus ride to school so severely, she brought a gun with her and waved it her bully, which opened her to almost 50 felony counts (including kidnapping and aggravated assault). Ultimately all charges are dropped against her. Had I access to a weapon, that could have been me. I was fortunately removed from the situation before it got to that point.
One of the reasons this film resonated with me, and is important for young kids to see, is that it doesn’t aim to offer a solution or a fix. It aims to raise the discourse on the subject, and provide a conversation that isn’t being had, particularly among school officials. Hell, one of the administrators at the school Tyler Long attended denied that bullying was a problem, which goes back to the arrogant ignorance.
The one thing I wish they had really addressed was cyber-bullying. We live in the age of Web 2.0, and with it comes all new territory for bullies. A perusal of YouTube or news site comment sections will show you that anyone can (and will) anonymously call anyone a fag. Take that to Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Myspace (which some people still use), Formspring, or any other social network, not to mention the prevalence of mobile phones… I’m glad none of that existed in my day, but it’s a very real issue these days, and I wish they had brought that to the discussion.
Otherwise this is a very powerful, very important documentary to view, and I hope that it is show to more kids.
Starring Jason Statham, Catherine Chan, Robert John Burke & Anson Mount
One thing I like about Statham is that he has a type of film. He’s found a genre he likes, and he sticks with it- loner action hero. He does it quite well, and I tend to like his films. That’s not to say they’re generally good… but I enjoy them. Safe has some solid action, but is ultimately hindered by a ridiculous plot and sloppy writing.
There was one line in particular that was uttered by two different characters in two different scenes. The characters had no contact during their respective scenes. So in addition to being a well-worn plot, the writers are recycling their own dialogue within their own movie. That was one of the more cringe worthy aspects of the film.
Otherwise, they made the film way more complicated than it really had to be, with plot points being introduced way too late in the game to make them viable to the arc. It’s similar to the problems with The Raid. They hit the third act when they realize they need to a way to tie it all together, and they end up doing so in the laziest way possible.
But credit where credit is due, Statham does a considerable amount of actual acting in this role, playing a broken, world beaten man who does what he has to do out of some sense of redemption. And of course the action is wildly entertaining, it’s what he does best. I just wish he’d pick better vehicles to showcase it. I can’t wait for his return in The Expendables 2. If you absolutely have to see it, I say wait for DVD/Netflix.
Jason Segel and Emily Blunt in The Five-Year Engagement
The Five-Year Engagement
3.5 Stars
Starring Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Chris Pratt, Alison Brie
The comedy team of Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller is one of the more productive and hilarious in recent years. They kicked it off 4 years ago by working on Forgetting Sarah Marshall together, Stoller directed, Segel wrote and starred. They carried that success into getting the prestigious gig of writing The Muppets last year (which Stoller also directed, and Segel also starred in). Fast forward to this year, and we get their latest offering, which despite a strong cast and solid premise, just isn’t as strong as their previous efforts.
I can’t not like Segel. He’s a very funny guy, and so disarming with it. He’s just a nice guy you’d love to hang out with. Everything he’s in, from How I Met Your Mother to the movies mentioned, he’s just so gosh darn likable. Add into the mix the beautiful and equally charming Emily Blunt, who is always a delight, with Parks & Recreation‘s Chris Pratt and Community‘s Alison Brie, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for comedy gold. But it just goes on too long.
I have no problem with long movies. Some of my favourite movies push the three-hour mark. This one was slightly over 2, and that’s not terrible for a comedy… if they can keep the audience’s interest. Unfortunately the film drags way too much and can’t overcome that fact.
It’s a standard romantic comedy, and you can guess the end of the film with the trailer, but it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey, and they take the long way to get there. During the parts where it drags, there’s also a drought of laughs, which is where I would get lost. It’s right around the middle of the 2nd act, and the 3rd act is slow going. If they would just trim the fat, this would be perfect.
If you’re looking for a good date night movie, this is it, just be warned that it gets a little tedious in the middle.
The Raven
The Raven
3 stars
Starring John Cusack, Alice Eve, Luke Evans, Brendan Gleeson
Much like last year’s Anonymous did with Shakespeare, The Raven looks to cast a new light on a famous writer, this time we head to the 19th century and take a look at Edgar Allan Poe. And much like last year’s Anonymous, it’s actually a really good film if you know absolutely nothing about the writer or the times. Having written term papers in college on both men, my enjoyment was a little marred.
This is a sort of departure for Cusack, as he’s not known for doing period piece. I kind of like him as Poe. He really played it straight, with some classic Cusack neuroses thrown in, which was a good choice. I was scared they were going to go over the top gruesome with him, and play him his as more of a caricature than as a man, and I appreciate the restraint.
As someone who didn’t particularly care for V For Vendetta (the message got lost/forgotten), I was quite impressed with director James McTeigue’s vision. Much like Cusack, he played it straight, and just made a really solid thriller. This is the kind of film that if Tim Burton got his hands on it, it would have been a schlocky macabre mess. But McTeigue kept the focus on the cat & mouse between Poe and his adversary (don’t want to spoil it for anyone) and plays out in an almost Holmesian way.
A really solid gothic thriller about the master of horror. It’s not worth full price, see a matinee or a 2nd run theatre.
The nicest thing I can say about the “found footage” sub-genre is that it exists. Cloverfield is its beacon of quality, while Oren Peli tries beat it to death every year with a “new” Paranormal Activity, and I didn’t even bother with Apollo 18 (did anyone?). But what started way back in 1999 with The Blair Witch Project (say what you will, I liked it), finally climaxed in 2010 with the Norwegian film Trolljegeren (Troll Hunter).
I say the sub-genre climaxed because this is the ultimate in found footage. One question I always raise is who, within the confines of the narrative, is taking these hours upon hours of footage of people being slaughtered (since this sub-genre is usually horror), and cutting it together into a 90 minute narrative? Whoever does is a terrible human being. But that wasn’t a big hang up for me in this one, I was with it all the way through and afterwards… it was only much, much later that the thought even crossed my mind.
Troll Hunter tells the story of a student documentary crew who trek out to investigate mysterious animal killings in Norwegian farmland, only to encounter the equally mysterious Hans. They’re able to convince him to let them join his hunt for whatever beast is killing the farm animals. While they’re all speculating that it’s bears or wolves, he reveals the dark truth: that he’s been in the employ of the Norwegian government to keep the Troll menace at bay. What ensues is a beautifully shot (easy on the shaky-cam) cat & mouse monster film.
Not to sound like a snob, but I’m one of those film nerds who can’t stand dubs, and will only watch foreign films subtitled. It’s a better presentation, and it helps get over the cultural hump. And because of this, I became much more invested in the film.
If you like monster films, this is definitely the one to check out.
I don’t have any reviews for this weekend. I went to a Renaissance Faire, hung out with friends and family, and I didn’t particularly want to see The Lucky One (It’s Nicolas Sparks, so it’s probably stupid, and was dragged out 45 minutes longer than needed to be by a previously unmentioned terminal disease related subplot) or Think Like A Man (looked OK, like Tyler Perry without the pandering stereotypes, but… I wasn’t interested).
So with no reviews, time for the stock filler of a TOP TEN LIST! Top 10 Films To See This Summer Besides The Dark Knight Rises & The Avengers. Those are obviously the big ones, everyone already knows about them, everybody will probably go see them. I will. I hope you do, too. You don’t need to be told about them. Here are the films that aren’t those ones that you should see this summer. It’s all releases, May through August. May starts the summer movie season, if not the solar season.
Chernobyl Diaries – May 25th
I’ve made quite a bit of fun at the expense of Oren Peli. And in my defense… not all of it’s completely undue. From the ret-conning of the Paranormal Activity plots as the sequels progress, to the lather, rinse, repeat method those films utilize to churn a new one out every year… But I was quite taken with his TV show The River, and am disappointed we won’t be getting more (though Netflix has expressed interest in picking it up and releasing new episodes). It was less of a “found footage” and more of a “Well… it was a film crew, so they shot everything.” And there was more of a narrative arc than Paranormal Activity. Which is why I’m looking forward to Chernobyl Diaries. There’s an actual plot driving this horror offering, his crew is opting for the handheld look over the found footage look. Handheld usually means shaky-cam, which I’m definitely not a fan of. But there’s just something about Peli and his brand of horror that I can’t get enough of. Maybe it’s that it brought us out of the torture-porn era. I don’t know. But I like his stuff, and I’m actually looking forward to this one.
Prometheus – June 8th
I know this is some how being branded as an Alien prequel, which is a move I’m on the fence about. I’m all for Ridley Scott’s return to sci-fi, he’s directed two of the most influential films in the genre (the other being, of course, Blade Runner). I was listening to an interview with Prometheus writer Damon Lindelof, and as he describes it, it’s more a film that exists in the same universe and crosses over with plot/characters, but as a narrative, has little to do with the other property, in the same vein as the works of Stephen King or Quentin Tarantino. That is an easier pill to swallow concerning this film. More so… Scott directing a script penned by Lindelof, featuring Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba and Guy Pearce… I’m having trouble finding any fault in there.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter – June 22nd
Say what you will about Wanted, I liked it, as well as director Timur Bekmambetov’s Russian horror/fantasy epics Night Watch and Day Watch. But even that’s not what has me most excited about this adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel (which if you haven’t read, I suggest you do. You’ve got 2 months to read it. GO! NOW!). Nor is it the phenomenal cast that includes Benjamin Walker, Rufus Sewell, Dominic Cooper, Alan Tudyk, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Anthony Mackie. No, it’s the fact that this film is a) being made, and b) getting a summer tent-pole release. This is a property that is way on the extreme of genre works, and doesn’t quite have that broad, mainstream appeal. Not that that’s a bad thing. It just sets a (good) precedent for genre films to get a wider audience, and if it’s any good, could lead to more exciting films in the pipe-line.
Brave – June 22nd
Pixar has a lot of making up to do. Cars 2 was a positively dreadful film. It was a quick grab at cash. They had built up this reputation for lovingly putting quality films into the world, and almost destroyed that notion with Cars 2. That said… they look to be well on their way back into all our good graces with Brave, their first film featuring a female lead. It’s the closest they’ve come to Disney’s classic princess film model, but since this is Pixar, we know it will be anything but. Maybe I’m biased because I’m for anything that involves Scotland. With Brenda Chapman at the helm, who directed the better-than-it-gets-credit-for Prince of Egypt and a good strong voice cast, I think Pixar will return to glory with Brave.
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World – June 22nd
There’s something about a people centric, apocalypse themed comedy that just screams “WHY WASN’T THIS MADE SOONER?!” There’s something sweet and charming about the trailer that grabs me and makes me want to see it. Just to see Steve Carell and Keira Knightly play off one another would be worth the ticket price alone, but then add in the brilliant ensemble supporting cast of Nancy Walls, Patton Oswalt, T.J. Miller, Gillian Jacobs, Connie Britton, Rob Corddry and many more, and this a sure-fire crowd pleaser. To top it off, it’s non-franchise, non-sequel, non-book, non-unoriginal… everything the internet forums could possibly want in a film.
The Amazing Spider-Man – July 3rd
Swing the pendulum the other way from Seeking a Friend…, here comes a reboot of a franchise we last saw just 5 short years ago, Spider-Man. The first and second Raimi/Maguire Spider-Man films were what ushered in comic-book era of films. They’re still landmarks in the genre and stand as some of the best of the super-hero films. The third one was a ridiculous piece of crap that did it’s best to undo all that the first two had built up. I still don’t know how I feel about a reboot this soon after the previous franchise… but director Marc Webb helmed the fantastic (500) Days of Summer a few years back, and with Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans and Denis Leary (a particularly inspired bit of casting for Cpt. Stacy) in roles, and studying the trailer like the good little Spider-fan I am, it’s hard not to feel excited about it.
Savages – July 6th
Where 09 was the year of Sam Worthington, 2012 seems to be the year the studios are trying to push Taylor Kitsch. Two big budget action films (the bomb John Carter and May’s Battleship, which let’s say bombs, too, probably), and a stylized Oliver Stone drug drama. I’m not alone in not buying Taylor Kitsch as the next big thing, but it’ll be cool if he’s able to get a Emile Hirsch thing going. Flying under the radar, but doing consistently solid work. That’s why I’m looking forward to Savages. I like Oliver Stone, though he has been hit & mostly miss for the past decade or so. But when a good ensemble cast (including Kitsch and Hirsch, Aaron Johnson, Blake Lively, John Travolta, Salma Hayek, Uma Thurman and Benicio del Toro) and solid script come together, he can actually make quite the compelling film.
Ted – July 13th
Seth MacFarlane’s a love him or hate him kinda guy (as far as his career goes). There’s not much middle ground. I enjoy his work. Sure Family Guy isn’t the same show we fell in love with in 1999, and The Cleveland Show has been a gigantic piece of shit since day 1, but American Dad has actually gotten much better since its freshman season. And if you haven’t listened to his 2011 album “Music Is Better Than Words,” do so, right now, it’s amazing. Anyway, now we get to see how his comedic stylings translate to the big screen. I’m sure we won’t get cutaway gags, and rapid fire pop culture references, but that bawdiness, that crudeness, yet still something faintly intelligent, will all be there. And it’s Mark Funkybunchberg talking to a teddy bear! That’s hilarious. If you’re on the fence about Wahlberg doing comedy, see I Heart Huckabees (which would have been lost without him) and The Other Guys.
The Bourne Legacy – August 13th
I’m a huge fan of the Bourne franchise, as it completely revitalized the spy genre which limped through the post-Cold War 90s trying to find its relevance. What excites me is that this builds on the established story, bringing back established characters Noah Vosen and Pam Landy (David Straitharn and Joan Allen, respectively) while introducing us to Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner), another agent in the Treadstone project who’s “gone rogue.” I’m most intrigued by the addition of both Rachel Weisz and Edward Norton, two phenomenal actors who we haven’t heard much from lately. Tony Gilroy steps up from writer to director, as he has written all of the Bourne films to-date. I’m approaching with caution, only because it lacks Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass, who built the franchise.
Lawless – August – 31st
Shia LaBeouf and Tom Hardy in Lawless
I still don’t know if it’s Lawless or The Wettest County in the World, but last I checked it was Lawless, so that’s what we’ll call it from here on out. But this is a new Prohibition Era film from John Hillcoat, longtime collaborator with Nick Cave, and director of The Proposition in 05 and The Road in 09, both fantastic and you should definitely check those out. Tom Hardy and Guy Pearce anchor a cast that also features Shia “I Hate the 80s” LaBeouf, Mia Wasikowska and recent Oscar nominees Gary Oldman and Jessica Chastain. It’s got a solid pedigree, with a script from Nick Cave (who wrote a script for a Gladiator sequel I would actually want to see, see item #1). This could be one of those quite summer releases that’ll gain some traction heading into the Oscar race, let’s just hope it doesn’t get tragically left in the dust like 2011’s Drive.
The Empty Theatre 
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